I have played about 26 hours into Dragon Age: Origins. GOD, I just can't stop. I tried to do some fanart, but failed, but the tablet down, and went back to playing the game. It's too distracting right now I believe, which is why I'm screwing the art up. I care and then I don't. I just want to keep playing and drooling, of course, over Morrigan.

God, She's hot. It's horrible.

I heard the game has about 100 hours of play, side quests and all. Once I get this current set of quests done for Orzammar I'll be able to just go to the landsmeet and beat the game, if I wanted to, but I want to milk every little bit out of this game. So I will take care of other quests before starting that whole mess. At a confusing boss right now, I got my ass kicked. We'll see if I can figure something out tomorrow. I apparently have to close and can't play when I get home because Ben will be sleeping for work gah.

"What was that, Alistar? We weren't listening."

Current Mood: complacent

So I have saved conversations from AIM on my external harddrive to remind me of things not to do, ask, or just reminders. I don't know why really, but I have went through them and read a few. It hurt a little, but maybe it's going to be a poignant reminder to my mind to just let go.

The way I talked to an ex of mine, the way I talked to an interest/good friend. Ah, I think i've changed. I don't know if it is for the better or not, I don't know if i've matured or just failed as a human. Who knows. I want to push it all behind me. I want to just stop thinking of it, like i've never had the chance to feel such things, or to be in those situations.

There's no way i'm thinking about it in tandem with another person, the bond wasn't that strong on their side. I doubt they think of me.

Maybe things can be fixed when I visit Florida next, or maybe not. My circumstances don't give much room to go and express my inner feelings like this. Last thing I would want to do is hurt anyone..

Current Mood: indescribable

I only have one wisdom tooth, it's on my top right and it's backwards XD. They don't want to remove it. They can't find out why my jaw is aching, but they're going to deep clean my mouth and give me a couple fillings next appointment. Then I get to talk to the orthodontist and ask him for an appointment to yank a crowding tooth out.

There goes christmas XD

Current Mood: groggy

ºDentist on the third, I can't wait! Hopefully my wisdom teeth are hurting so godawfully bad because they are impacting. If they are impacting, he'll take them all out for me and it'd be like a bad dream! :)

ºAlmost broke two fingers yesterday, they're both swollen and hard to type with lol. Yay for hyperextending them! AND I am cooking tomorrow hah.

*Working over 45 hours this week, I can't say how excited I am! I closed last night and am going to be working at 6am this morning, so i'm running on three and a half hours of sleep.

*Driving mommy in laws car to work while they're in florida, driving automatics freaks me out so badly! I'm trying to get used to antilock brakes/abs too, my saturn and eagle don't have either. I think the cars in drivers ed had them and my sisters newer saturn...hmmm. Something is seriously wrong with the talon, we think injectors or iasc, and the saturn's registration is out because it failed emissions twice and I couldn't fix it in time.

*When I get out of work today I will most likely take a nap, then I will get up and continue cleaning the house up.

Thanksgiving menu:

*4 loaves of rosemary bread (making myself)
*Sister Shuberts rolls (on sale at publix)
*Snow crab
*Rib eye steaks (the little morsels were on sale at publix)
*london broil, because ben thought the ribeyes wouldn't be enough.
*2 gallons of green tea (on sale at publix)
*fondue (wooo!)
*maybe a Guinness
*Salad (on sale at publix)
*salsalito turkey and jalapeno havarti cheese (paninis for the win, i am NOT slaving over a turkey!)

I think that's about it... I got stuff for stew later in the week :). Too earlllly.

Current Mood: groggy

I beat katamari forever in a matter of three days.
My talon isn't circulating coolant.
The saturn is still out for the count, has the failed emissions slip in the dash.
Still poor.
I can't wait for the cars to be finished so I can actually save some money and start paying things off.
I'm a wee bit tired of being either at work, asleep, or working on the cars all the time.
[end vent]

Yaaay it's getting cold here!

Current Mood: hungry

And the water got shut off.. wooo!



I need to get better!

Current Mood: bored

I guess i'll start posting random doodles to this journal when I don't have something constructive to say, nor when my art is shitty enough not for me to want to put it on DA. Random stuff that I don't really have as characters or anything. Who knows.



I don't think i've gotten any better at it haha.

Current Mood: bored

It died on a hill in the middle of traffic and people STILL sat behind us like we were going to go somewhere while we had the flashers on. TN gets an A for intelligence. Had to put it in neutral, back it into a church parking lot, then had to wait for traffic to clear to push it across the road into a grocery store parking lot because it wouldn't go back into the parking lot for the church, kept trying to roll out into traffic.

I wish I had the freaking title, i'd throw that thing in the junkyard SO fast.

Hopefully we can fix it before the end of October, have to take it to get its emissions test. With it stalling five times in a row on the same part of a hill for no reason it's going to fail. Can't get new stickers for my plate if car fails. Grrrr.

Current Mood: aggravated

..at the comments I left you to entries and GOD I sound like a fucking moron. Here, let me go dribble over here because my heart is beating my brain into being stupid. Oh wait, I was already stupid! I just make myself sound worse the more I look back in the way I talked to you, though you can sort of tell I was hinting all along! Maybe you have caught on, years ago...


Really now people, if I like you and i'm talking to you like a fucking kindergartner LET ME KNOW! Sheesh.


I got lost staring at the stars...



..But we can't keep thinking of old flames that never really burned, now can we? It's in the past Danielle.



Fuck, i'm just going to delete old shitty entries now :P

Current Mood: disappointed

I've even asked HER passing it off as the third person. She couldn't come up with an answer either. I just want to know why i feel this way, so attached and not at all at the same time, wanting, still waiting even though it's impossible.

Couldn't go back to sleep, kept thinking. About the times when I could've been affectionate and possibly gotten away with it. Why was I so scared? Why am I so filled with emotion now? Why can't I figure out what this emotion is. I like her a lot, but this is just something i've never felt before. So confused. I want to touch, feel, hold, and just be close..

...And I wished I would've went for a kiss when I had the damn chances.



And Pandora picks the BEST song to play, yep.

Current Mood: confused

I want Final Fantasy Dissidia! @_@

...I shouldn't be given a tv to oogle at XD.

Things got cleared up at work woooo, going back after closing with fours hours of sleep under my belt.

Current Mood: groggy

So yesterday Peepers passed away while in the car with us being rushed to the only animal hospital that was open. I went to work the previous day, I should've fucking called out, I could've had my little baby in my lap still. It's all my fault and i'm incredibly pissed off and upset with myself. I loved him, he was the tamest most intuitive cockatiel i've ever had.

I had been raising him since he was two weeks old, he died at fourty-one days. We buried him, but it's bothering the hell out of me. I wanted to cremate him, but the price of that is WAY out of my budget. I just feel like complete shit, I lost my love, my best friend. Someone who no matter how bad he felt was STILL excited to see me when I got home and still cuddled with me. He's the only bird that ever cuddled like that. The sibling of his that I believe got him sick does a little, but it's not the same. I hate myself and I hate my life.

We did take the other two babies to the vet yesterday. Patches was fine and Junior had a yeast infection of the crop. Vet thinks that's what killed Peepers. So it was passed on from Junior to Peepers. Ugh. They are on a prescription. It's funny when they take it straight, they cringe and make sour-faces. Since they both threw up from it though i've been mixing one dose in their formula and have been feeding them that way. The vet thought junior was adorable, I guess she has a favorite. He looks like a little impatient chocobo with orange ear circles on it's face. He's also the stunted runt, so he's tiny.

I don't know, I saved some of peeper's feathers, going to figure out if I want a tattoo of those feathers or bring in a picture of the little guy. His feathers are very pretty though, looks like someone took a black brush and went over them with it, looks like a japanese painting almost. I still love him, wherever he is. I'm going to hate moving out of this house and leaving his remains in the yard. It just feels wrong.


One of the newest pictures and the last I took of him:

RIP Peepers July 6th- August 17th 2009

Current Mood: crushed

I beat photoshop into working. I had to go in safe mode, it was annoying. Anyhow, i still need to adjust my settings on my tablet, that and it just feels weird. That may be because I haven't used it in a while, i'm hoping XD. Yay, stupid doodle of Tomo ftw XD

horray for stupid looks

Current Mood: accomplished

So for some reason my photoshop elements 2 won't install from my disk that I got with my wacom. It worked before, i'm getting pretty pissed off :(. Nothing I do it working either, so I really don't know what to do. I DO want to draw on something better than paint -_-;. And I don't really want to spend the money of getting a copy somewhere uuurg. I'll just use the gimp for now bleh.

A wolfie came into the driveway yesterday and went after ben, he kicked it. Wolfie ran off somewhere o.o

Edit: OC doesn't like my tablet >

Current Mood: angry

So I got addicted to a show that I soon finished. Only had two seasons, sucks. I recommend going on www.hulu.com and searching up dead like me. Mason and George had to be my favorites :3


New birds are getting big and are showing their personalities, can't wait till they don't need the brooder any longer.

Current Mood: hungry

The saturn is about to die, but never fear! I have a DSM we're working on so that I'll have another car that works and won't need repair every weekend. I should have it fixed and registered in a couple weeks, we've had it for a month and i've been staring at it... It's so gorgeous!

It just had the whole cylinder head rebuilt so it should run like new, which is good. It's a standard too, so I get to learn to drive all over again haha. Saturday my head gasket and head bolts should be in at Napa. A place i'm never going to again for obvious reasons lol.

The garden is growing nicely, here are the things that have sprouted: corn, millet, radish, potato, watermelon, and the pumpkin. I had to replant the lettus and the carrot seeds, lets hope they grow this time. I would really like some carrots lol. I did replant some radish, corn, and millet so there will be more. Since only one radish poked up, it's nearly harvestable, just have to wait for the bulb to push up above the soil. It'll either be made into a snack or a salad :)

I got new managers at work. I like one, but i don't know about the other. I'm getting some pretty nice hours, so I don't think there's room to complain. Take the good with the bad is what life tells me. After I get the car registered i'm going to buy an a/c unit for my window, then i'm going to go after my bills and pay the medical and the debt the saturn has put me into off. Yeah, a car put me into debt with it breaking every weekend, those parts add up!

I think i'm going to wait to rebuild my desktop computer for a while, just so I can get everything paid off. I've got a good system going, don't spend on anything more than you have to; buy lunch for the week at aldi, don't spend anything else unless it's for gas or shampoo/soaps/bird food lol.

Current Mood: hot

Yay for tax returns! I will have enough for a fuel filter, evap_purge solenoid, and sparks and wires! I will also have enough to pay my bills for the month! And this is after throwing $500 at my credit card. Whew :). Getting my credit back up on par after struggling for so long is niiiiice. Man, i'm excited. Then after that I can buy a cheap harddrive for the dell and sell it on craigslist and use that money for computer parts so I can build my computer back up. I like using this laptop, but it's not the same thing as my computer I built. I have to wait on hospital bills from last month to find their way to me before I start work on my computer.

I can also use what is left over from paychecks this month towards brakes for my car next month. Ugh. Money pit! That's probably the most logical thing to do right now. We'll see what happens.

Current Mood: sleepy

Yep. I'm finally starting to get settled in. I have a desk, some chairs, and now the bird has a HUGE cage. We found it for cheap over at petco in Hermitage, nice parrot cage for $80. I found out that the computer I built for Ginger had onboard video, stupid me thought i'd have to buy another card after I RMAed the one that went boom (yeah, that was fun).

So with family friends giving us things when they moved we're about set for our bedroom haha. We finally got a stereo to hook the playstation up to as well, which is niiice. I can play Little Big Planet with surround sound.

I can't CAN'T wait until I get my tax return. That way I can pay off my credit card that I had to rape funds from when we were in clarksville. At least i'm not going through $70 in gas a week anymore, lord. Gas prices are about to shoot up again so i'm going to have to save a little more money again to go towards that, but that's fine.

I still have my job, I hate it, but i'm damn grateful to have it! I am thinking of getting a second job around here at some fast food restaurant just in case. It'll be my safety cushion, or just a few extra weeks of pay, hah.

My computer is still dead. So i'm on the gateway laptop in the living room atm (the one i fixed). Can't wait to fix it!

Getting chest pains this week, but I hope it passes, we'll see.

Current Mood: sore

Well i know it's been a while since i wrote in here, but really.. i have been going around in freaking circles lately and never gave it a thought haha. I got a transfer to another store that I don't know if I hate or not, eh. Not getting as many hours, been bitching to management, at least i'm in the bakery again ugh.

I'm still christmas shopping, but I have to wait for my paycheck to come in bleh. So that'll be after christmas that I can send things to Florida and get Ben something he's been wanting *sigh*. We gave that cat his present early, he got a squeaker mouse, he's so cute when he plays with it.

I can't wait until i'm not broke, but that's going to be a little while. I have to fix my computer, ben's letting me use his laptop in the meantime. It's something, i'm glad we had this option. I've gotta work I think until 4pm tonight, i'm wondering if i should take the interstate home (seeing as i'll have to drive past the mall) or if I should just drive on the main road. Hmmm. There's a wind advisory out and it has been raining, so I don't know.

I did finally see some ice on the ground yesterday. It was in a puddle in the tacobell parking lot XD

Current Mood: groggy

I moved to madison since i've been gone from this website. It's right down the street from downtown nashville, i'm using about $40 a week on gas to get to work now instead of $75. It's nice, I got cheaper insurance when I got that policy in Tennessee. I registered my car a couple weeks ago; License: $12.50, Emissions: $9.00, and Tags/Registration: $90. Yup, kinda hurt a bit, but I got through that month. This month i'm doing a little better on finances, it's finally getting towards the light in the tunnel (so to say) and i've actually got money to myself. Though, in my mind it's all going towards christmas. I've been aggravated because there are things I keep finding that I want, but i've been putting them aside, there are other things at stake and i'm trying to con my mind into realizing this!

My job still sucks up front, but they've been giving me 36-38+ hours the last two weeks. So I can't complain... as much.

After christmas i'm going to save up to have my tonsils removed, finally. We'll see what happens, but I know no medicine they're going to give me is going to work, i've been on antibiotics for other things and it hasn't done anything for them whilst working on colds and the such. Oh well, it'll eventually be one less thing to worry about. I just hope that comes soon enough.

The weather has been nice lately, it's getting cooler, we had frost on part of the roof this morning. I haven't seen frost since highschool! We're also going to go to Adams later and see the bell witch and all of the fun things associated with it. Hm. Lots of fun halloweeny stuff going about town, i can't wait to buy a pumpkin and carve one up :)

Current Mood: awake